My Walk Today

What a shame that I have let this part of my life go, as in pretty much every other spiritual aspect of my life. At present, my Christian walk looks like this:

*I pray, but mostly for myself and my family, about what I want and need, about what I'd like God to do for me. I don't really listen for His still, small voice during these prayers, and when I pray with the children (at mealtimes and bedtime), it is mostly a generic, canned, and repeated prayer, void of real depth and meaning.

*I rarely read the Bible. Most of the scripture I am exposed to is through sermons, and is not followed up on and meditated upon.

*I do not go to church regularly, even though I LOVE our church and feel that it is where God wants us to be. We are not members, and are not plugged in in any way. We don't go to Community Group and we haven't been to Wednesday night services for pretty much the whole school year.

*I am not involved in a Bible study, though I paid for and started (but never got very far) in an online Beth Moore study over a year ago.

*We haven't been tithing regularly either, though we are trying to do better in this area as we are trying to implement Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover for our finances.

So there it is, in all of its ugly truth. My walk with Christ. A total joke. So much for making an impact. So much for leaving a legacy. So much for helping others. So much for showing my gratitude and love for my Savior who gave everything so that I might live. But I want to change. I want to know Him. I want to give up my current life and live a life that will bear much fruit. It's time to start over. It's time to start writing new pages in this book of my life. I know my spirit is ready. Now I need to (with help from God) overcome the weakness of my flesh.